nomioya
Straight outta Narita
Becoming more and more bitter by the year.
Posts: 8
CIR Experience: 2nd year
Location: Fukushima
|
Post by nomioya on Sept 14, 2016 11:05:48 GMT 9
Hello everyone,
My prefecture holds an event called Global Seminar over 2 days where they host a variety of workshops on internationalization and international experiences. I'm going to be doing a 90 minute presentation on the importance of communication, but they've also asked me to do a 50 minute 自主セッション of some kind. I said I would do it if I could wing it, and the topic I've chosen is "things foreigners are tired of hearing, and the difference in communication tactics between Japan and the West" as I find many things that annoy foreigners are simply differences in communication (like when someone says you're really good at chopsticks and foreigners find it insulting, whereas Japanese people think it's a conversation starter, or how when Japanese people ask how your day was and they don't want all the details, but westerners give ALL the details).
Of course, going into it with absolutely no prep is probably a little reckless and irresponsible, so I was wondering if any of you had something you'd like me to tell this group (of most likely elderly) Japanese people? The groups will be small (ie, they max out at 15 people, but last year I had 6), so it's a good opportunity for in depth discussion. Anything from things you're tired of hearing, to differences in communication tactics you've noticed during your stay here. I'd like to compile a list and just take the list in with me and free talk for 50 minutes.
I really appreciate any and all help! Thanks!
Naomi
|
|
|
Post by むちゃRABU❤ on Sept 14, 2016 13:59:17 GMT 9
Isn't the West a bit broad? I would prefer if it was narrowed down to something like between Japan and Americans or something? I think Ividia or popchyk~ would think that the way some British communicate may be pretty similar to Japanese (or that's what I glean from posts here anyway) As for myself, I am from Southeast Asia so am unable to contribute at all - but I have noticed that Japanese people don't use their hands to gesture while speaking whereas when I speak, I would generally gesture a lot and this is common among several of my hulemdos too (although I gesture more so than most). Additionally, Japanese has many one-word/short phrases to express emotions that you would not express in words in English. My favourite example is びっくりした and in this sense maybe what you can say is how communication is done more via facial expression in English but through verbalization in Japanese?
|
|
|
Post by Caic on Sept 14, 2016 14:03:36 GMT 9
Isn't the West a bit broad? I would prefer if it was narrowed down to something like between Japan and Americans or something? I think Ividia or popchyk~ would think that the way some British communicate may be pretty similar to Japanese (or that's what I glean from posts here anyway) As for myself, I am from Southeast Asia so am unable to contribute at all - but I have noticed that Japanese people don't use their hands to gesture while speaking whereas when I speak, I would generally gesture a lot and this is common among several of my hulemdos too (although I gesture more so than most). Additionally, Japanese has many one-word/short phrases to express emotions that you would not express in words in English. My favourite example is びっくりした and in this sense maybe what you can say is how communication is done more via facial expression in English but through verbalization in Japanese?I feel like this is done through words like, wow, oh my god or a cheeky swear word. Whereas in japanese it is literally saying the emotion you feel, which would sound weird in english
|
|
nomioya
Straight outta Narita
Becoming more and more bitter by the year.
Posts: 8
CIR Experience: 2nd year
Location: Fukushima
|
Post by nomioya on Sept 14, 2016 14:35:33 GMT 9
Isn't the West a bit broad? I would prefer if it was narrowed down to something like between Japan and Americans or something? I think Ividia or popchyk~ would think that the way some British communicate may be pretty similar to Japanese (or that's what I glean from posts here anyway) As for myself, I am from Southeast Asia so am unable to contribute at all - but I have noticed that Japanese people don't use their hands to gesture while speaking whereas when I speak, I would generally gesture a lot and this is common among several of my hulemdos too (although I gesture more so than most). Additionally, Japanese has many one-word/short phrases to express emotions that you would not express in words in English. My favourite example is びっくりした and in this sense maybe what you can say is how communication is done more via facial expression in English but through verbalization in Japanese? Well, I'm Canadian, and while I am asking some American hulemdos, I'm also asking my Australian, Kiwi, Dutch, German, British, and Barbados hulemdos as well, so I'd like to leave it open. Rather than focusing on the Japan vs the West part, I'd like to know what kind of questions people have been asked that have become an irritation, and also for explanations on why they are irritating. Personally, I'm a Japanese-Chinese Canadian, and the thing that irritates me the most (in both English and Japanese) is when people ask me where my parents are from, or where my grandparents are from, when I simply answer that I am Canadian. It also annoys me when they dismiss the effort I've put into learning to speak Japanese, simply because I am "half Japanese" and should be able to speak it anyway. I have had some people say that they do not like being asked "do you have a boyhulemdo/girlhulemdo/husband/wife?" right off the bat in conversation, and I would like to bring questions like this to the attention of whoever comes to listen to my talk, and give them an explanation on why it may be rude/unwanted, and better ways to ask such questions. Thank you for the information on gestures though!
|
|
|
Post by むちゃRABU❤ on Sept 14, 2016 14:57:59 GMT 9
Oooh!! I see! That makes sense. Well, I hate being asked if I have a boyhulemdo or not because like that is private information I would like to choose who I want to share with so I agree with that. Other things I get annoyed with actually, is people telling me that my English is good. HAHAHAH.
Admittedly, I don't get it a lot in Japan because I speak Japanese more - but the few times that I do speak English, a lot of people are like "Your English is good!" - doesn't matter if they are Japanese or not because I get it from both. This offends me a lot because what is the definition of someone having good English? I guess this is the same argument as yours about you speaking Japanese?
Another thing that I get annoyed with is when people call me "kawaii". I get that they are trying to compliment me (and I confess that sometimes I feel a little amused when I get 'praised' like that) but in general, I resent being called "kawaii" because the definition of that in my mind is that of a submissive female with no opinions of her own who is obsessed with fashion/what people around her think about her. I would much prefer to be complimented with non-physical compliments - if at all. In fact, most of the time, when Japanese people compliment me, I feel like I have to force myself to deny it because I cannot just accept the compliment and I find it annoying because I would rather have few compliments that are truly genuine than people just "complimenting" just for the sake of commenting on my looks or abilities (wow you can speak more than three languages, YAPPALI ATAMA II NE). wtf.
(okay now I am hackled ahhahahah.)
|
|
|
Post by popchyk~ on Sept 14, 2016 15:40:19 GMT 9
I agree with mucharabu that "the west" is too broad... One thing I've learnt from cirhp (or cirhp has enforced for me) is that there are so many cultural differences between English speaking countries let alone all countries in the west. For example sometimes I've found that other foreigners will clmain about ways Japanese people communicate and I'll realise "oh hang on, in the UK that's how a lot of people communicate too..." I also don't mind when people tell me I'm good at using chopsticks etc because I am needy and desperate to be complimented
|
|
nomioya
Straight outta Narita
Becoming more and more bitter by the year.
Posts: 8
CIR Experience: 2nd year
Location: Fukushima
|
Post by nomioya on Sept 14, 2016 16:05:47 GMT 9
I agree with mucharabu that "the west" is too broad... One thing I've learnt from cirhp (or cirhp has enforced for me) is that there are so many cultural differences between English speaking countries let alone all countries in the west. For example sometimes I've found that other foreigners will clmain about ways Japanese people communicate and I'll realise "oh hang on, in the UK that's how a lot of people communicate too..." I also don't mind when people tell me I'm good at using chopsticks etc because I am needy and desperate to be complimented As I mentioned earlier, I realize that the topic is broad, but I am asking people from many different countries on encounters they may have had with Japanese people which have left them feeling "meh" or things they wish Japanese people would understand about foreigners. For example, some people are uncomfortable with the way Japanese people body shame larger people. To Japanese people, because of their culture perhaps, they see nothing wrong with their behaviour, but to many a foreigner (Canadian, American, Dutch, Barbados, Australian) it left them feeling awkward and uncomfortable. Therefore, if you have any thing that you're possibly tired of hearing and you'd like to share, feel free to let me know. One of the British girls in our prefecture is tired of being asked if she is American, for example.
|
|
|
Post by popchyk~ on Sept 14, 2016 16:09:20 GMT 9
Oh yeah, sorry, I was just elaborating on what mucha said. I don't mind being asked if I'm American but I appreciate it when they don't assume I am Err... I don't like if I tell people I have a cat they say I'm neko-ha. I'm neko-and-inu-equally-good-ha. Although I suppose that's not a thing people say specifically to foreigners lmao. Sometimes I feel bad when people say that British English is easier to understand than American English (presumably meaning Downton Abbey, Colin Firth upper class or upper middle class southern English) but that's because if later we do speak in English and they don't understand my accent (which is similar to the above accents but I'm from London so it's a London accent and I also mumble a lot) or what I say I feel like I've disappointed them made them doubt their English abilities and I don't like making people feel discouraged :/ if this makes sense
|
|
|
Post by no yark shark on Sept 14, 2016 16:28:47 GMT 9
Oh yeah, sorry, I was just elaborating on what mucha said. I don't mind being asked if I'm American but I appreciate it when they don't assume I am Err... I don't like if I tell people I have a cat they say I'm neko-ha. I'm neko-and-inu-equally-good-ha. Although I suppose that's not a thing people say specifically to foreigners lmao. Sometimes I feel bad when people say that British English is easier to understand than American English (presumably meaning Downton Abbey, Colin Firth upper class or upper middle class southern English) but that's because if later we do speak in English and they don't understand my accent (which is similar to the above accents but I'm from London so it's a London accent and I also mumble a lot) or what I say I feel like I've disappointed them made them doubt their English abilities and I don't like making people feel discouraged :/ if this makes sense !!! the people in my eikaiwa were saying this yesterday and I was like whaaaat! One of them lived in England for 7 years and the other one just got back from a week long trip to England too.
|
|
|
Post by popchyk~ on Sept 14, 2016 16:35:00 GMT 9
I always presume they're not talking about Geordies or Glaswegians or Cockneys.
|
|
|
Post by Sparkles on Sept 15, 2016 10:12:48 GMT 9
Hi nomioya, I did a kind of similar presentation a couple years ago, some of the content of which I described in this thread. I dunno if it'll be helpful to you but I figured it wouldn't hurt.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2016 11:03:38 GMT 9
Oooh!! I see! That makes sense. Well, I hate being asked if I have a boyhulemdo or not because like that is private information I would like to choose who I want to share with so I agree with that. Other things I get annoyed with actually, is people telling me that my English is good. HAHAHAH. Admittedly, I don't get it a lot in Japan because I speak Japanese more - but the few times that I do speak English, a lot of people are like "Your English is good!" - doesn't matter if they are Japanese or not because I get it from both. This offends me a lot because what is the definition of someone having good English? I guess this is the same argument as yours about you speaking Japanese? Another thing that I get annoyed with is when people call me "kawaii".I get that they are trying to compliment me (and I confess that sometimes I feel a little amused when I get 'praised' like that) but in general, I resent being called "kawaii" because the definition of that in my mind is that of a submissive female with no opinions of her own who is obsessed with fashion/what people around her think about her.I would much prefer to be complimented with non-physical compliments - if at all. In fact, most of the time, when Japanese people compliment me, I feel like I have to force myself to deny it because I cannot just accept the compliment and I find it annoying because I would rather have few compliments that are truly genuine than people just "complimenting" just for the sake of commenting on my looks or abilities (wow you can speak more than three languages, YAPPALI ATAMA II NE). wtf. (okay now I am hackled ahhahahah.) Yeah I second this and also add being referred to with ちゃん. This is complicated because I'm also not a woman so it might be more related to that, but different cultures have different perceptions of gender, and while ちゃん has its own unique purpose within Japan, to Americans it could very well come off as infantilizing. So maybe not use it with people you barely know?
ALSO don't ask if people are ハーフ/ダブル??? 1) really none of your business and very invasive, 2) it conveys the idea that the only possible explanation for someone's ability to speak Japanese is that they have some YAMATO body-juice in them. nopenopenope. it takes time and effort but so does every other language.
|
|
nomioya
Straight outta Narita
Becoming more and more bitter by the year.
Posts: 8
CIR Experience: 2nd year
Location: Fukushima
|
Post by nomioya on Sept 15, 2016 11:20:08 GMT 9
Hi nomioya , I did a kind of similar presentation a couple years ago, some of the content of which I described in this thread. I dunno if it'll be helpful to you but I figured it wouldn't hurt. Thanks! I'll have a look! All the CIRs and ALTs I've asked so far have been super helpful, and talking it out with my coworkers has enlightened me to a lot of aspects of Japanese culture that I hadn't noticed, or was unaware of. I'm already learning a lot just by preparing ^^
|
|
|
Post by CaptainSeery on Sept 15, 2016 11:27:14 GMT 9
Ew, I agree that being called ちゃん is awful. Especially when the mayor does it, then it's super infantalizing *side eyes mayor*
The only time I get the half thing though is sometimes when I introduce myself, because according to Japanese people my name sounds Japanese. Although in reality it's a very old and quite common name in lots of European/European-influenced societies and has only much more recently come to Japan. But then my favorite interaction regarding my name went like this:
Random ojisan: Is the the Board of Education? Me: I think so? (it recently moved and it was my first time going to the new place) Ojisan: Oh, good. (We walk up the stairs together) Ojisan: BTW, are you CaptainSeery? I see your column in the city newspaper. Me: Yup, that's me. Thanks for reading. Ojisan: I named my daughter CaptainSeery. Me: Oh, really? Cool. It's a good name. Ojisan: Yeah, I discovered it when I went to Germany. Me: (more sincerely) Oh, cool! Ojisan: It's the name of a flower, isn't it? Me: Yeah! Even most people in the US don't know that!
|
|
G-Rex
Dead Stargod
killed SAKAMOTO LYOMA with crappa sushi
hi
Posts: 7,198
CIR Experience: Former CIR
|
Post by G-Rex on Sept 15, 2016 11:41:28 GMT 9
Oooh!! I see! That makes sense. Well, I hate being asked if I have a boyhulemdo or not because like that is private information I would like to choose who I want to share with so I agree with that. Other things I get annoyed with actually, is people telling me that my English is good. HAHAHAH. Admittedly, I don't get it a lot in Japan because I speak Japanese more - but the few times that I do speak English, a lot of people are like "Your English is good!" - doesn't matter if they are Japanese or not because I get it from both. This offends me a lot because what is the definition of someone having good English? I guess this is the same argument as yours about you speaking Japanese? Another thing that I get annoyed with is when people call me "kawaii".I get that they are trying to compliment me (and I confess that sometimes I feel a little amused when I get 'praised' like that) but in general, I resent being called "kawaii" because the definition of that in my mind is that of a submissive female with no opinions of her own who is obsessed with fashion/what people around her think about her.I would much prefer to be complimented with non-physical compliments - if at all. In fact, most of the time, when Japanese people compliment me, I feel like I have to force myself to deny it because I cannot just accept the compliment and I find it annoying because I would rather have few compliments that are truly genuine than people just "complimenting" just for the sake of commenting on my looks or abilities (wow you can speak more than three languages, YAPPALI ATAMA II NE). wtf. (okay now I am hackled ahhahahah.) Yeah I second this and also add being referred to with ちゃん. This is complicated because I'm also not a woman so it might be more related to that, but different cultures have different perceptions of gender, and while ちゃん has its own unique purpose within Japan, to Americans it could very well come off as infantilizing. So maybe not use it with people you barely know?
ALSO don't ask if people are ハーフ/ダブル??? 1) really none of your business and very invasive, 2) it conveys the idea that the only possible explanation for someone's ability to speak Japanese is that they have some YAMATO body-juice in them. nopenopenope. it takes time and effort but so does every other language.
okay please note that i'm very aware of the irony of asking this in this thread in the middle of this discussion but would you feel comfortable sharing what gender (or lack thereof? idk) you do/do not identify with we've had some pretty interesting discussions before on here about these kinds of issues and i feel like the CIRHP community has actively made me a better/more aware person over the years as we've got a pretty diverse set of demographics but not sure if we've had someone as open about not identifying as male/female before only if comfortable though etc etc semi-public form etc etc
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2016 12:07:54 GMT 9
Yeah I second this and also add being referred to with ちゃん. This is complicated because I'm also not a woman so it might be more related to that, but different cultures have different perceptions of gender, and while ちゃん has its own unique purpose within Japan, to Americans it could very well come off as infantilizing. So maybe not use it with people you barely know?
ALSO don't ask if people are ハーフ/ダブル??? 1) really none of your business and very invasive, 2) it conveys the idea that the only possible explanation for someone's ability to speak Japanese is that they have some YAMATO body-juice in them. nopenopenope. it takes time and effort but so does every other language.
okay please note that i'm very aware of the irony of asking this in this thread in the middle of this discussion but would you feel comfortable sharing what gender (or lack thereof? idk) you do/do not identify with we've had some pretty interesting discussions before on here about these kinds of issues and i feel like the CIRHP community has actively made me a better/more aware person over the years as we've got a pretty diverse set of demographics but not sure if we've had someone as open about not identifying as male/female before only if comfortable though etc etc semi-public form etc etc Yeahhhh that's a pretty invasive question. Wouldn't recommend it. The most I'm willing to disclose is being some form of nonbinary. Most critical information for y'all will probably be my pronouns.
I consider my queerness and mental illnesses strengths that are very critical to who I am and things I want others to understand more, so in most scenarios I'm very open about it. But I have to be super closeted at work of course so it's probably slipping out a little extra in relatively safer spaces.
|
|
|
Post by popchyk~ on Sept 15, 2016 12:43:17 GMT 9
I like to be called "chan" because it makes me feel less shy. We have a new co-worker (well since the spring) from Osaka who calls everyone "chan" - even some of the men - and now kacho has started doing it too. I also call newer hulemdos "chan" sometimes without thinking and then get any and ask if it's ok that I 勝手に switched to "chan".
I also like to be called "kawaii" (although it doesn't happen so much haha).
I think this thread has made me realise I have an ego that loves compliments.
|
|
G-Rex
Dead Stargod
killed SAKAMOTO LYOMA with crappa sushi
hi
Posts: 7,198
CIR Experience: Former CIR
|
Post by G-Rex on Sept 15, 2016 12:52:24 GMT 9
okay please note that i'm very aware of the irony of asking this in this thread in the middle of this discussion but would you feel comfortable sharing what gender (or lack thereof? idk) you do/do not identify with we've had some pretty interesting discussions before on here about these kinds of issues and i feel like the CIRHP community has actively made me a better/more aware person over the years as we've got a pretty diverse set of demographics but not sure if we've had someone as open about not identifying as male/female before only if comfortable though etc etc semi-public form etc etc Yeahhhh that's a pretty invasive question. Wouldn't recommend it. The most I'm willing to disclose is being some form of nonbinary. Most critical information for y'all will probably be my pronouns.
I consider my queerness and mental illnesses strengths that are very critical to who I am and things I want others to understand more, so in most scenarios I'm very open about it. But I have to be super closeted at work of course so it's probably slipping out a little extra in relatively safer spaces.
fair you may return to going about your business as normal
|
|
|
Post by TrickPhoenix on Sept 15, 2016 13:25:48 GMT 9
For example, some people are uncomfortable with the way Japanese people body shame larger people. To Japanese people, because of their culture perhaps, they see nothing wrong with their behaviour, but to many a foreigner (Canadian, American, Dutch, Barbados, Australian) it left them feeling awkward and uncomfortable. I'll second that! I sort of get the opposite end of it where people compliment me by saying I'm thin, and I get that the intent is positive, but instead it makes me incredibly self-conscious??? Like I had a very bad body image for a while, and while I've gotten to the point that I like the way I look, I'd rather people focus on being generally more body-positive than like idealizing one body type, ya feel?
It bothers me especially in conjunction with some coworkers poking fun at a heavier guy in my office. It's very casual to them, but every time I overhear it I find it pretty distressing.
Also on the -chan thing, I'm on the side where if anybody used that to refer to me in the office, I'd be pretty irritated, because I don't really feel like it's as appropriate for a professional environment, although I don't really mind it outside of work, provided that I'm actually hulemdos with the person. Thankfully nobody has tried it, but I noticed that one of my female coworkers gets called -chan all the time and I'm like vaguely irritated FOR her whenever I hear it. Agh, cultural differences, I'll deal.
But if anybody just met me and immediately called me -chan without even asking I'd wanna smack em upside the head
|
|
|
Post by no yark shark on Sept 15, 2016 13:27:23 GMT 9
I like to be called "chan" because it makes me feel less shy. We have a new co-worker (well since the spring) from Osaka who calls everyone "chan" - even some of the men - and now kacho has started doing it too. I also call newer hulemdos "chan" sometimes without thinking and then get any and ask if it's ok that I 勝手に switched to "chan". I also like to be called "kawaii" (although it doesn't happen so much haha). I think this thread has made me realise I have an ego that loves compliments. I actually feel the same, but it's usually only other women who do this which is probably why I'm okay with it.
|
|
|
Post by popchyk~ on Sept 15, 2016 13:40:32 GMT 9
no yark shark yeah, also in English I call people I'm not close to pet names all the time (I don't know if this is a London thing or a uk thing but I feel like everywhere I've been in the uk it's normal for strangers to call me "darling" "love" "pet" "hen" etc depending on the region) so it just feels normal to me. I like nicknames too. Being called "chan" feels affectionate and hulemdoly to me.
|
|
|
Post by no yark shark on Sept 15, 2016 13:42:42 GMT 9
no yark shark yeah, also in English I call people I'm not close pet names all the time (I don't know if this is a London thing or a uk thing) so it just feels normal to me. I like nicknames too. Being called "chan" feels affectionate and hulemdoly to me. yeah this is also a thing in the American South (not that I do it really). My driver's ed teacher called me sweet pea and it was hilarious to me. I love giving people nicknames (and I'm pretty good at it if I do say so myself), but somehow no one ever manages to give me a nickname that sticks
|
|
|
Post by popchyk~ on Sept 15, 2016 13:43:24 GMT 9
I'll try to think of a nice nickname for you
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2016 13:55:09 GMT 9
no yark shark yeah, also in English I call people I'm not close pet names all the time (I don't know if this is a London thing or a uk thing) so it just feels normal to me. I like nicknames too. Being called "chan" feels affectionate and hulemdoly to me. yeah this is also a thing in the American South (not that I do it really). My driver's ed teacher called me sweet pea and it was hilarious to me. I love giving people nicknames (and I'm pretty good at it if I do say so myself), but somehow no one ever manages to give me a nickname that sticks I'm also from the American South~ Although I've noticed that in our region women tend to use such pet names for everyone regardless of gender, while men really only use them with women so I think it has its ugly side too.
|
|
|
Post by no yark shark on Sept 15, 2016 13:58:26 GMT 9
yeah this is also a thing in the American South (not that I do it really). My driver's ed teacher called me sweet pea and it was hilarious to me. I love giving people nicknames (and I'm pretty good at it if I do say so myself), but somehow no one ever manages to give me a nickname that sticks I'm also from the American South~ Although I've noticed that in our region women tend to use such pet names for everyone regardless of gender, while men really only use them with women so I think it has its ugly side too.yeah for sure. In NC at least, I feel like it's mostly older people that use pet names at all, so I think it's also something that will die out.
|
|
|
Post by Sparkles on Sept 15, 2016 14:03:20 GMT 9
My comfort with -ちゃん reaaaaally depends with context. I am almost always uncomfortable with men calling me -ちゃん. Often I would prefer 呼び捨て to -ちゃん, tbh. It's a respect/condescension thing I suppose. I feel more comfortable with -ちゃん during times I am trying to be/present feminine and be cute with other people who are presenting feminine because we are all being cute and feminine for ourselves/because we want to rather than for anybody else and we all 呼び合う each other as -ちゃん. The other circumstance that I definitely feel comfortable with being called -ちゃん is with all the お母様世代 ladies who are my fan activity hulemdos -- they often have children around my age anyway and have sort of adopted me and use it very affectionately rather than in a condescending way. (That said, Current Fave and I are the same age and once when the お母様世代 ladies suggested we call each other FirstNames-ちゃん we both went 「 -さんがいいです。」 at the same time. I would only call someone my age -ちゃん if we were actual hulemdos or I felt closer to them or we were all part of the same "group" that 呼び合う'd as -ちゃん; otherwise I'd only use it with someone significantly younger.) Some of the older guys in my KA call a younger guy they're buddies with in my KA LastName-ちゃん and I can tell everybody's cool with it, but again, that's among guys so I feel as if there are different nuances and standards there. As someone who is always perceived as feminine in Japan, it'd feel squicky to me. Just...nope. Sometimes I'm cool being called かわいい by a guy if it's about a SPECIFIC THING -- in my case, usually my hairstyles. Also I do like it when the women coworkers in my office compliment my sweater or whatever else as かわいい. Calling accessories/styles かわいい = OK, especially if I've put in effort to them ("Wow what a cute outfit/hair bow!"); calling me personally/my behaviors かわいい is on thin ice especially in certain circumstances. This dredges up fuuuuuun thoughts, oh yeah. tl;dr Sparkles has complex feelings about being called -ちゃん All that said, popchyk can call me -ちゃん if she wants. <3 hue
|
|
|
Post by popchyk~ on Sept 15, 2016 14:11:57 GMT 9
I suppose a London male wouldn't normally call another male he didn't know "darling" or "love" but he might call them "mate" or something so I feel that's similar.
Thank you, sparkles-chan ^^
|
|
|
Post by no yark shark on Sept 15, 2016 14:14:03 GMT 9
Sparkles put how I feel into much more eloquent words than my tired brain can right now. A lot of people in my office will call each other by first names/nicknames at times actually. We have three people with the same last name (kacho, kacho-hosa, and one other guy) and they always call one of them by his firstname-san. There's a guy named Matsuda whos in his early 40s who people often call Matchan and two other guys that are ken-chan and kan-chan. People often call my former Soup (around 40?) firstname-chan, but me and the other girl the same age as me pretty much always get san. The young guy my age is lastname-kun. I go by my first name mainly because I have two last names and it's annoying, while my first name is actually a name in Japanese so it's easy to say, but now I'm kind of curious how many people here go by their last name at work?
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2016 14:14:20 GMT 9
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2016 14:25:23 GMT 9
Sparkles put how I feel into much more eloquent words than my tired brain can right now. A lot of people in my office will call each other by first names/nicknames at times actually. We have three people with the same last name (kacho, kacho-hosa, and one other guy) and they always call one of them by his firstname-san. There's a guy named Matsuda whos in his early 40s who people often call Matchan and two other guys that are ken-chan and kan-chan. People often call my former Soup (around 40?) firstname-chan, but me and the other girl the same age as me pretty much always get san. The young guy my age is lastname-kun. I go by my first name mainly because I have two last names and it's annoying, while my first name is actually a name in Japanese so it's easy to say, but now I'm kind of curious how many people here go by their last name at work? When I met my Soup at Tokyo orientation that was one of the first things she asked me and I panicked and chose my first name because it's Japanese and therefore easier to pronounce. But now I'm reflecting on that and I think learning to remember and pronounce non-Japanese names is an important part of 多文化共生. Plus it makes me feel like the office pet and it gets on my nerves. When I go to other places and get called LastName-san it feels really validating. I don't know if I can address it with my coworkers at this point though.
|
|